27-Year-Old Me Would Be Horrified…

27-year-old Chrissy— taken on Photobooth of course.

Over the holidays, I found one of my old journals from 2012/2013. I turned to a page that had “My Fears” written across the top. Beneath it, I scribbled, “I'm so afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. I'm 26 and I've never had a serious relationship, and it makes me feel like something's wrong with me. I'm afraid that the years will pass by and nothing will change.” 

I see a lot of this exact sentiment from twenty-somethings on social media these days. It honestly makes me laugh a little when I think about how horrified my twenty-seven-year-old self would be to know that ten years later, I'm still single. But today, as I turn 37, I can look back at that version of me with so much compassion and zero fear. Younger me was desperate to be loved—not only for what it would feel like but for what it would say about her to others. That she was desirable, that she was worthy, that she had been chosen. Deep down she thought a relationship was the key to true happiness.

Nothing about being single scares me now.