LOOKING FOR YOUR PASSION? ASK YOUR INNER CHILD
As I transitioned from my longtime corporate job to pursue my own path, I’ve received a lot of questions from people trying to figure out their purpose or passion. They want to escape their stagnant job but can’t figure out what’s next. Obviously, I’ve been there and I know exactly how daunting it can be. It’s a mix of feeling trapped and fearing the unknown. What might you lose or gain if you walk away from it all? There’s certainly no one-size-fits-all answer for how to figure out if you should leave your job. But when considering what might be next for you, I think something that often gets overlooked is checking in with our inner child.
Have you ever thought about the things that always made you light up, the things you never stopped being curious about, or the activities you really enjoyed as a kid? Not the things your parents forced you to do or signed you up for because they thought you might like it. What were the activities you did on your own that comforted you or brought you joy?
For me, it was writing, which is ironic because I spent so much of my career dreading it and avoiding it, convinced I was a terrible writer. I always felt really insecure about my writing—and still do at times. But my desire to share my experiences and how I’m feeling is much greater.
I never entered the industry because I wanted to write about fashion. I wanted to be the person who got to pick the clothes on the glossy pages—in hopes that I might inspire a purchase that made someone feel good about themselves. I fell into the digital world by accident—and writing was just part of the gig. But writing articles about fashion or celebrities always felt a little foreign to me even though I had grown up reading magazines. Of course it was always fun to follow celebrity gossip, but I never cared to actually write about them myself—and writing about fashion just felt so repetitive.
How many times can I say chic in one article?
But those negative feelings about writing was actually a new experience for me because throughout grade school and as a communication major in college, writing was a big part of my life. I was lucky enough to have teachers even in elementary school who saw that passion in me and tried to foster it by having me work on my own writing projects.
Back in August, my mom came across my first-grade report card while organizing some things in our home. It truly made me smile to see what my teacher wrote about me. I was amazed that even at six/seven years old, this teacher could see my love for writing, poetry, and storytelling—and also see me for the sensitive little kid I was and still am! There were no outside influences pushing me in this direction, it was a natural inclination.
This is an excerpt from my report card, June 1993.
When I reflect back on how I spent my free time as a child—it all makes sense. So much of it revolved around reading (I was a Nancy Drew and Baby-Sitters Club fanatic), writing in my journal, letters to my mom, or making up stories. I can recognize my love for music at an early age as well, heavily encouraged by my dad who always played music at home and taught me about musicians. Along with music came my love for dancing. I studied ballet and tap dance, but I also just loved dancing any chance I got. At my core, these were, and still are, things that make me happy—and that help me to connect to myself. Yet, at times, they were also the things I wouldn’t make room for when I was busy building a career.
Writing this newsletter has been an incredible exercise for me to regain confidence in writing. I doubt myself less, and feel more assured about how I choose to tell my stories. In the past, if anyone ever dared refer to me as a writer or even a journalist, I would quickly cut them off and insist that was notwhat I was. However, this year, I decided to include writer as my job title.
And listen, you don’t always have to turn your passion into a career per se—but it’s still worth reconnecting with these outlets we used in the past that were fulfilling for us. There is important information there about who we are. I know there's a lot of pressure to turn your passion into your job these days, with viral posts that say, if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. Um no. I loved my job at Bazaar, but it also left me totally burnt out. Just because you do something you love doesn’t mean it can’t make you absolutely miserable. It’s perfectly okay to have a job that you just clock in and clock out. Just make sure to make some room for exploring hobbies and your real interests that help bring you home to yourself.
I love fall, but my skin doesn’t
We had a great run this summer, but now with the drop in temperature and humidity, my cystic acne has been flaring up a bit. I’m a longtime acne sufferer and I’ve tried (what feels like) every product under the sun. This year, I made some real progress with an overhaul to my routine. I switched up a lot of my core products. So, I feel like I’m finally figuring out what really works for my skin. Here’s the rundown of my tried and true routine.
Barbara Sturm Enzyme Cleanser + Face Cream
This year one of the best things I did for my skin was committing to Barbara Sturm’s Darker Skin Tones line. I’ve used it on and off in the past, but never really had the patience to wait around and see if it really worked. Her products are most certainly pricey, but you can make them last. I’ve been using the same bottle of Enzyme Cleanser for 8 months, and I use it at least once a day. I also love her moisturizer because it’s so light, but it does its job—and a little goes a long way.
Biossance + Squalane Lactic Acid Resurfacing Night Serum + Tea Tree Balancing Oil
After my prescription retinoid ran out in the early pandemic days, which I relied on for its acne and wrinkle-fight powers, it was hard to find a replacement that could compare. I started using this after a really bad breakout in January, and I haven’t experienced another breakout of that same magnitude since. I can’t go to bed without this (or the balancing oil if I’m having having a flare up).
Hyper Skin Hyper Clear
I rotate between a few Vitamin C products that I really love. Hyper is effective, it’s easy to pack for a weekend away, and it’s super affordable (at $36). But honorable mentions as well for Buttah Skin and Dr. Dennis Gross which I also keep in rotation.
Augustinus Bader The Rich Cream
For daytime, if I want to make sure my skin looks really glowy, I use this. At night, when I need some extra moisture, I’ll layer it over my other face cream.
Augustinus Bader The Body Cream
This is the most luxurious of luxurious body creams. I just finished my third jar, and I’m always surprised at how well it manages to keep my super dry skin looking moisturized all day long. And when it comes to drug store buys, I will forever been a Nivea girl.
F. Miller Body Oil
This is the best body oil because it smells absolutely heavenly and it’s not sticky or greasy. I use it during the colder months over my body lotion for extra hydration.
Renee Rouleau Triple Berry Peel
I worked with Renee for years to solve my acne issues—she’s truly one of the best in the biz. I’ve been using her Triple Berry Peel mask (and her detox mask) for over 5 years now, to help with skin tone and texture.
Summer Fridays Jet Lag + Overtime Mask
I try a lot of different face masks, and it can be hard to actually stay loyal since the market is so big. However, I always keep these two in rotation because they work. The jetlag mask has been so good at calming my inflamed cystic acne. When I have a flare up, I’ll sleep in the jetlag mask, and usually my zit will be half the size come morning. The overtime mask is my favorite physical exfoliant, and my skin always feels the softest after using it.
Dieux Deliverance Serum
If you struggle with inflamed skin like me, this is a must-try. I’ve used other cannabinoid products (which work against inflammation) and this has been my favorite. It’s light, absorbs quickly, I use this every night. I also love their reusable eye masks. And lucky for all of us, I know the incredible girls who created it, so they gave me a discount code for you all to use: chrissy10
Biossance Sheer Mineral Sunscreen
Finding a good sunscreen can be a struggle for a Black girl—this one absorbs well into my skin, doesn’t leave me looking grey. It also has squalane and zinc in it, so I feel like it is actually working all day to help keep my skin clear, and hyperpigmentation at bay. I never leave home without it.
Before You Go...
via @iuliastration