How Gratitude Saved Me When I Was Unhappy at My Job

If you've ever felt trapped before—whether in a job, a relationship, or an unhealthy mindset—you know how hard it is to get yourself unstuck. During the height of my unhappiness at my full-time job, I complained a lot. Like, all the time. All I could see was what was going wrong, how stuck I felt, and what I was missing out on (Freedom! Money! Opportunity!). Normally, I'm not a complainer, but my frustration took over. Even my brother Clint, my go-to confidant who usually gave me free rein, hit his limit after a while and gave me an ultimatum: either I make the necessary change, or he would cut me off (from complaining). He had a point! I was at that juncture where I either needed to find acceptance for where I was in my life or make a change.

Around the same time as all this inner turmoil, one of my friends suggested we start a group chat with a few mutual friends. It was called, “attitudes of gratitude,” and every day, we were tasked with texting three things we were grateful for to the group. I was skeptical, but each day I would list off things that were low-hanging fruit, like “I'm grateful for my family, my friends, and that I have a job still.” But I felt like I was just performing gratitude, I didn't really connect to the actual feelings of gratitude. 

In fact, I really struggled with feeling ungrateful because of how I was feeling about what I considered my dream job. Day after day, I'd receive messages on Instagram from girls who told me they dreamed of being an editor like me, asking what they should study to get a job like mine or if they could intern for me. Yes, on the surface, I absolutely knew I had a fantastic job. I worked at the magazine I wanted to work for since I was a teenager. My career was expanding beyond anything my teenage self could've dreamed of. I got to attend glamorous events, meet and interview celebrities, be on TV, travel all over, get free clothes, etc., so why the hell did I feel so unhappy at work? 

Yes, I was very aware of how lucky I was to have that job, but I'd also reached a point where I simply didn't feel fulfilled anymore. So I had to work on shifting my mindset to continue to show up and do my job until I was really ready to pull the trigger and leave. 

To do so, I started to focus on being grateful for what the job had given me and the fact that I would not be able to even think about moving on if it weren't for all the opportunities I'd been given there. I was grateful that I got to watch so many of my ideas come to life. I was grateful for the friendships I made at work and two of my colleagues, who were truly a support system for me.

Shifting into this mindset was the only way through. And it wasn't until I was finally free and working for myself that the real feelings of gratitude finally clicked for me. It's one thing to say you're grateful for something and another thing to feel it in your entire being. The embodiment of gratitude is a sense of appreciation within us, not just the external expression. I didn't need to write it down in a journal or text it to a group chat because I feel it every day to my core. 

I realized that having a gratitude practice is a lot like starting a meditation practice. You don't really *feel* any different after the first, second, third, or even tenth time. But the more you do it and integrate the lessons, the more you can connect to the experience and feel the positive impact. It can really affect the way you see yourself and the experiences you're having. Most importantly, you can apply it when things don't feel so easy, or life isn't going your way. That's when I think about gratitude the most. Yes, it's easy to feel grateful when things go our way. But what about when we don't get the job we wanted or experience heartbreak? How can we bring in gratitude to find that sliver of light that exists in our lives beyond whatever is clouding us at this moment? How can we keep reminding ourselves of the good when we get stuck on what hasn't worked out in our favor? 

I used this last year after ending things with the guy I was dating last summer. Yes, I felt really bummed, and I sat with those feelings for a while, but I also appreciated that our time together taught me a little bit more about how I was showing up in relationships and helped me fine-tune what I am or am not willing to put up with and what I want from a future partnership. I was grateful for those lessons, and I carry them with me. 

I know this all sounds easier said than done, but that's why it's called a gratitude practice. Big emphasis on practice. But it's worth it—studies have shown that it actually leads to more happiness and connectedness with the people around us. So, if you're looking for a place to start, try writing down three things you're grateful for when you're done reading this, or the Five Minute Journal (USE CODE: CHRISSY10) if you'd prefer a guided practice (I've used it and love it! It also makes a great gift). A handwritten note to a friend about how much they mean to you can also help you connect to feelings of gratitude or start a group chat with your friends to hold each other accountable.