What I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self in Honor of WMHD

A few weeks ago, I saw this quote on Instagram (turns out it's by Brené Brown), and it really resonated with me. Looking back, I don't know if my younger self would ever believe that I'd grow up to become someone who speaks publicly about their struggles with mental health. I had my first panic attack around twelve, and at that age, I never would've been able to even dream up a reality in which I would make anxiety part of my career.

My anxiety felt like something to be ashamed of, something to hide, something I had to whisper about to others as an FYI in case my anxiety suddenly came on during class or an outing with friends. It felt like a burden. I constantly questioned WHY was this happening to ME? I wasn't the kid I used to be before my first panic attack, and I never really would be again.

It was a long, arduous journey for me to find some sort of equilibrium. If only I could go back in time to give little Chrissy a hug and a heads up that one day she would feel “normal” again. I'd tell her that her parents weren't just trying to be annoying when they would say, “this too shall pass,” they were right. That she would come to understand the value of therapy, it would help her gain more control over her thoughts and fears so that anxiety wouldn't rule her life. And even though she felt scared of literally everything, the day would come when she wouldn't be so scared of the things she once loved—and she would actually become braver than she could have ever imagined.

And that bravery would allow her to help others.

When I first wrote about my struggle with anxiety for Bazaar in 2014, I was quite worried that people would think I was crazy or weak. The response I got though, made me see that there were so many people out there who felt the same and wanted to engage with other stories like mine. It solidified for me that this was part of my purpose. I've become the person that I wish 12-year-old me could've seen or turned to for help when she was feeling alone and confused, the person that could remind her she wasn't the only one struggling with fears and phobias—there are lots of other people out there who feel the same way that she'd eventually connect with.

So, I'm grateful to be able to create space and community for others who have felt alone in their journey and might be going through similar situations, those who want to know how they can better support others who are struggling or going through a life crisis—or maybe you're just curious about how someone navigates life with mental health issues. I know one day we'll all get to a place where talking about mental health will be seen as no different than how we talk about taking care of our physical health.

I hope this newsletter continues to be a resource for those in good times and in difficult times. And I hope it also helps you think about how your story and point of view could be solace for someone else. Our stories are really powerful, and they're worth telling.

Sending love to anyone reading this who is struggling today, this too shall pass.