What did 11-year-old me need?

The licensed social worker and author talks about ghosting friends, building intimacy in platonic relationships, and understanding self-regulation vs. co-regulation.

“Yes, I'm so unbelievably open to connection. Still, I'm not holding my breath until it gets here.”

Self-soothing is a practice that helps someone feel safe, get back into their body, and regulate their emotions.

“In the relationship with our parents, there's the good stuff, which is often what we also want to pull in our romantic relationships. Then, it's the not-so-great stuff we unconsciously pull in our relationships.”

I have always believed my phone usage wasn't an issue—it's part of my job!

I know I am not my relationship status, yet so much of my existence has felt rooted in this search for love

“Therapy is like playing the long game— most mental health issues are not quick fixes. “

I was more focused on “being” instead of “doing.”

“I was preparing for a shoot, and her friend called me, and she said, ‘Your mom is unconscious.’”

Regardless of your relationship status there’s something for everyone.

The stigma around this act comes down to 3 things: religion, shame, and lack of education.

This bi-annual fashion spectacle makes me feel bad in a way that I never feel any other time of the year.

It took me a long time before I was able to take responsibility for the fact that I was still a willing participant in the anxious-avoidant trap.

Much of my life and existence revolves around my career, so there's always this pressure to be evolving and leveling up.

“I think that what's really important about growing up as the ‘Token Black Girl’ is I really did have a lot of close relationships with white people where I really did believe they loved me. I really did trust them.”

Even though she felt scared of literally everything, the day would come when she wouldn't be so scared of the things she once loved—and she would actually become braver than she could have ever imagined.

I always like to say it's good to take the training wheels off and make sure you can still find your balance in the real world.

“I don't have panic attacks. I don't have shaky hands. I don't sleep for 25 hours. All these things that we say is anxiety. Then I learned as I got older that I have high-functioning anxiety.”

I've actually been toying with the idea of moving to London since 2019.