WELCOME LETTER
When I quit my coveted editorial job at Harper’s Bazaar in February 2020, I was scared but so excited about the possibilities ahead of me. I felt like I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I was free from the constraints of corporate America. I felt supported by friends, family, and the universe. Of course, 2020 had different plans for all of us.
My plan to travel for 10 weeks got cut short, brand deals dried up, and I didn’t exactly have a Plan B—not a pandemic-proof one at least. I came home to my little NYC studio apartment, jobless, with all the time in the world to think about how I might possibly go broke.
“I can’t wait to see what you’ll do next!”
“I know you’re probably working on something amazing!”
“Are you going to work at TikTok?”
I was getting so many comments and questions from peers and followers alike who seemed convinced that I had some big announcement up my sleeve.
Can’t a girl just bask in her funemployment?
So, with all this time, I set out on an exploration to find ultimate enlightenment—my true calling, my life’s purpose. I started listening to old recordings of tarot readings (yes, I save them all) and my first astrology birth chart reading from 2015. The answer felt so out of reach and under my nose at the same time. I thought about childhood passions, what I thought I wanted to be when I grew up, and things I enjoyed doing regardless of whether I could get paid.
From my inner circle to social media, talking about mental health and how we evolve as human beings has always been a focal point for me—and quite integral to who I am as a human being. I decided I wanted to dedicate more space to exploring self-healing, how we come to understand ourselves and others—whether that’s friends, family, or lovers. I’ve always been curious about what makes people tick. While this newsletter might not exactly be my sole life’s purpose, I do think we can have more than one calling in life. Once upon a time, it was being a fashion editor, which led me to co-found 2BG Consulting in June 2020 to help the fashion industry with its glaring diversity issues.
Now, this newsletter is just the next part of my journey.
In fact, self-healing has been part of my life since I was 13 and suffered my first panic attack. Meditating, visualizations, and journaling were all things I learned to cope with the stress of being human. Then, five years ago, I started exploring Buddhist philosophy and more spiritually-inclined tactics. Sparked by a broken heart (isn’t that always how it happens?), a situationship gone wrong left me feeling completely powerless, and quite frankly, pathetic. I vowed to continue digging deeper on how I relate to myself, those around me, my fears, and how to overcome the things that knock me down.
As I always like to say, there’s no greater feeling than conquering the things that fucking terrify us.
Yes, I’ve put in a lot of hours at therapy, but outside of that I’m completely invested in my own wellbeing. I devote time, energy, and resources to my emotional needs. Sometimes that means just sitting with uncomfortable feelings, journaling, listening to my favorite songs of the moment, crying to friends, crying alone, reading Pema Chodron, or visiting my favorite occultists. There are so many ways to explore self-healing, and I really do believe that we should all be committed to knowing ourselves, our triggers, our shadows, and the things that potentially hold us back from finding joy in our lives.
Coming up with the name for this newsletter was another one of those moments where the answer felt like it was hiding in plain sight. I was sitting at my family’s kitchen table one morning while my dad was making me some ginger tea—and it hit me. My father was born Foward Joy Rutherford, he legally changed it when he immigrated to the United States in the late ‘70s, and he’s always been a little embarrassed by it. It feels so hippie compared to my dad’s polished demeanor. So I thought I’d give the name some new life.
Just to be clear, this newsletter won’t always be about joy, because we often have to sit with pain or failure to find contentment. Sometimes it’s about finding joy despite things going awry at any given time. I won’t be here to preach to you or say everything’s always going to be okay if you just stay positive or that a $300 cream is going to fix your life. I’m only here to share my experiences—like my learnings from therapy, conversations with my spiritual gurus, playlists to cry or dance to, and books I couldn’t put down—in hopes that you might feel inspired, and find something that works for you.
I hope this newsletter can be a reminder that no matter where you’re at in life right now, there will be joy ahead.
Now to kick off 2021, here are some things bringing me joy right now…
My bath time is not complete without Weed Sport CBD Muscle Dunk.
I can no longer read just one book at a time, so I’ve got Mirror Work,Astrology, Karma and Transformation and Caste audiobook on rotation.
I’ve been consulting for thirteenlune.com for a few months, and learning about so many incredible Black-owned beauty brands. Buttah Skin’s Vitamin C serum is one of the best I’ve ever tried, and I’ve tried a lot.
SZA’s “Good Days” on repeat, because it’s exactly what I need during these weird times.
Ever since I was a kid I’ve always looked forward to cracking open that fresh new journal to start the year. Mine are always Moleskin.
For the comfy/can’t be bothered to shower days, I’m living in my Empathy sweatshirt and Entireworld sweats.
On the days I feel like putting on real clothes, this Paradis Perdus cashmere sweater makes me feel like I should be hanging at an outdoor cafe in Paris.
I’m in a home-decor spiral, and I found this random Etsy shop aptly named In Gramma’s Attic, with the cutest vintage homewares.
When I need a break from anxious thoughts, this iPhone game Wordscapes has been saving me the last few weeks.
Please turn off your depressive Co-Star notifications and download the Chani Nicholas app. It has everything from the full breakdown of your birth chart, to a weekly podcast, and a quick weekly astro-weather forecast—and even push notifications to remind you to look up at each full moon.
Finally, today we honor Martin Luther King Jr., a beacon for social justice, a warrior for peace, and advocate for the poor. I hope you all take time to think about his legacy, and how you can continue to push the conversation of racial equity within your community this year—or get it started where you see a lack of representation. As Dr. King says, “the time is always right to do what is right.”