HOW TO USE TAROT TO NAVIGATE YOUR CAREER AND LOVE LIFE
I bought my first tarot deck in high school, but even with their instructions, I didn’t really understand how to read the cards—I still don’t! Tarot came back into my life right before my 30th birthday when I took a friend to a crystal shop in the Lower East Side. I’ve always been drawn to occultism, so when we were offered readings with their resident mystic, I didn’t have to think twice before saying yes.
I had never had a real tarot reading prior, so I went in with zero expectations—but the accuracy with which he spoke got me hooked instantly. Even now, years later, I can see how spot-on the reading was, because from day one, he said I wasn’t fulfilling my purpose yet, and that I was meant to be in school or to teach. I had toyed with the idea of going back to school at times, but it felt daunting. A few years later during another reading, he mentioned that when Jupiter hit my 10th house (house of work), I would have my own business. In 2020, Jupiter moved into my 10th house, and teaching anti-racism classes became a part of the consulting business I co-founded.
Tarot has been another form of therapy for me. It’s helped me find alignment with my purpose, process emotions, and really get to the root of an issue that I couldn’t quite reach on my own or through therapy.
It’s also encouraged me to be strong in my self-worth in times that I questioned it because of work or relationships. Sure, there are times where I have used it as a crutch and found myself intolerant of the unknown. However, when I have my cards read and hear affirmations of what I already know to be true deep down, it has reinforced that I can and should trust myself. So I find myself needing readings only a few times a year now.
So, that brings me to today’s guest. I met Violetta Laze through my first reader, and she studied tarot under him. I’d never play favorites, but I do think there is something to be said for working with someone who is rooted in feminine energy. She’s not only my reader, but she’s become a friend that constantly inspires me through her intuitive gift and how she moves in the world. Below, we chat about how tarot really works, her best tips for manifesting and harnessing your sexual spiritual energy.
Read the edited interview below, or you can listen to the full conversation with extra manifestation tips.
Violetta, how old were you when you discovered tarot? And what made you want to learn more about it?
Violetta: I picked up astrology first around 16 years old. I always questioned why do people behave the way they do? What influences our feelings? Intuitively I knew there was something beyond reason, logic, and religion itself. I knew there was a higher meaning to life than just textbook psychology. There’s something greater than the mind itself—and that’s the spirit. Whenever I went to a bookstore, I was always drawn to the spirituality section. Astrology was the gateway to tarot for me. I began the art of intuitive reading after a trip to Milan, where I came across my first tarot deck. Tarot served as a sibling to astrology because there are astrological correspondences with every single card. I do believe these two modalities are different yet one in the same. Tarot is the microcosm and astrology the macrocosm. Since I am a visual person, I picked up messages and answers much quicker than looking at intricacies of a birth chart. I found my unique ability to interpret these mystical motifs is what held the strongest space for healing for my clients.
I discovered spirituality as a teen too. I still have my first deck, but I never really tried to study tarot. There are so many interpretations, so I find it overwhelming. Can you explain how it all really works?
Violetta: The magic is not in the cards, but the practitioner using them. When I observe an image on the card, either the color or symbol that my eye catches triggers a response from my subconscious mind that then communicates a message to me through my intuition. These responses are what makes the practitioner unique. Tarot is kind of like the inkblot test, everyone can see it differently. That’s the beauty of it. The cards definitely aid in developing psychic cognition such as clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, and claircognizance which is to see, to feel, to hear, and to know. Essentially it’s the 6th sense, which we all possess but in different degrees.
I’ve been getting tarot readings for 5 years now and I actually found it at a time where I was taking a break from therapy, so it served as a replacement. It helped me work through my feelings, and difficult situations I was going through at the time. It’s also helped me see my real value when I was questioning that at work, and gave me the courage to walk away from my job. I always credit astrology and tarot with really helping me see the magic in myself and in my life. So, I can vouch for the healing I’ve felt through it, why would you recommend it as a healing method?
Violetta: Yes, this is an out-of-the-box approach, but readings can give us different insights that allow new stories to be built from a deeper understanding of our soul's function. It speaks to where we've been, where we are and where we're going—it all merges to show the story at the heart of our lives. Sure, tarot can be used for fun—but if you really wanna look at it professionally and how you can best utilize it is, look at it as: what is the ultimate message of truth here? How can I step outside of my own ego, to really receive information that's being given to me? Tarot can help you tap into your own wisdom so that your own innate divinity can become a voice of reason for you in your day to day life. It brings into your awareness what it is you specifically need to work on. Sometimes these are insights you would not hear from a therapist or uncover on your own. It's meant to transmute energy. This is how it can serve your healing. That’s why I call myself more of a tarot healer and interpreter. There is a science behind intuition. And trust me there is still free will. That’s the best part—you can actually change the story. If I'm seeing where a situation or pattern can lead you, and it’s not positive, you can change it. When you walk away from the reading, you will feel much more empowered to act, to continue believing in something, or to let go of something that’s meant to be on its way out. It’s incredibly validating. A lot of times I tell you things you already know deep down—so it helps to build a deeper trust and intimacy with yourself.
A lot of people think that tarot is just about predicting the future, but in reality, it’s more useful for processing what’s happening in a particular moment, and how to move forward in a situation.
Violetta: Definitely. I always say, “let’s not future trip” in the questions here. It’s so easy to ask questions behind your anxiety and fears, like, will I ever get married? How many kids am I gonna have in the future? When you should be considering... how and what am I contributing in the present moment to my desires? Am I sending clear or mixed messages to the universe that I am ready to receive that relationship or that business? Or what's in the way of attracting a partner to have children with? Oftentimes tarot will reveal to you what your blocks are and what you need to do to release them. Sure, we can look ahead, we can ask questions that have to do with predicting timelines, that is very possible. But the most empowering tool of tarot is that it helps you understand the here and now in this moment. Use it to prepare for changes ahead.
So, yesterday was Valentine’s Day but I like to think of February in general as the month of love. You use tarot and your intuitive gifts to coach women about love and being magnetic, so let’s talk about that.
Violetta: Yes, I get asked the most about romantic relationships and it’s my specialty. I think it’s the most mystical and profound category of life, right? Why are we drawn to the people we’re drawn to? Love is larger than life and can certainly consume us entirely if we don’t harness our emotions. Relationships are the real spiritual assignments, and catalysts for deep change. This is why I have created a container to coach women, men and couples, beyond one-off readings to be their long-term guide as they evolve into a place of their power and wholeness— integrating their feminine and masculine polarity. The work is to be the one before you find the one. I coach on how to have a divine marriage with yourself before you do so with anyone else.
Yes, there’s free will involved, yes we have destiny. I really do genuinely believe whatever is yours will be yours and whoever is yours, you’ll never miss them.
Yeah sometimes when I playback my readings (I record them all) I think, why did I ask so many questions about that guy that I had a crush on at the time? It was fleeting and I should’ve been focused on the bigger picture.
Violetta: Yes, and that’s why for some women it gets to a point where the cards are no longer able to assist them for their highest change. Patterns can remain for years and become repetitive in your life which is why I opened a deeper practice to bring enlightenment to these darker places. Women often ask me, how do I become more attractive? They worry about looks, but it’s really about energy. Sexual, spiritual energy. That’s the most attractive thing to anyone. Their magnetism, confidence, and boundaries. What will you tolerate? How do you effectively communicate your needs? Where do you need to speak up? They're regulating with me, but they should be regulating with their partners. I like to bring women back home to themselves. I remind them of who they are and that they are deserving of everything they want- if they are willing to do the inner work.
Ok so let’s dig deeper into sexual spiritual energy… sounds like the new BDE (big dick energy). How does someone harness their SSE?
Violetta: Your energy is your power! Energy is the real currency of life. You attract everything you want through this portal of receptivity. Self love. That term is thrown around so much but it does come down to that. It’s receptive self love first. And then the resources: love, money, success etc., come as a byproduct of your energetic signature. People are able to sense fear and confidence. People can feel if you are coming from a place of lack or abundance. SSE is energetic mastery with an abundance mindset. You become a hypnotic force when your value and worth stems from deep spiritual awareness of oneself versus anything outside of you. It’s having sovereignty yet authentic connection. It’s being willing to be cracked open to share your heart. If it’s not this, if it's not him or her, it's something or someone better! It’s higher faith and love. You need a strong understanding of yourself and who you are, and courage to speak your mind even if that means losing somebody. View yourself as a holy sacred scripture—knowing you're valuable and that people earn your time and respect. Your personal power is your sexiest asset.
You’ve often talk about practicing magnetism, what does that look like?
Violetta: Cultivating a strong inner compass. Committing to trusting yourself. Staying firm yet open. Knowing you are the light, like the sun. You are bright and radiant. People come to you, moths to the flame. Remember: the planets revolve around the sun, the sun doesn’t revolve around the planets. So, if you’re an overachiever, do less and vise versa. Meditate, sit in your desire and think about it coming towards you. If you believe it, it will come. Creative visualization is a crucial tool. That's when you become a magnetic portal of anything and anyone you desire. It's also doing shadow work and integrating your anima and animus. It’s working with the inner goddess. Incorporate elements from the planet Venus such as rose petals, rose oils, copper, and the color pink. Venus will make you go through trials and tribulations so you learn what you need.
This leads into manifestation in a larger sense. I think I’m pretty good at manifesting. Reflecting on my life path, I believe I manifested my career, and a few relationships as well. My favorite story is years ago I was trying to get over a guy, and when I wrote about him in my journal I always wrote guys by just initials. When I started writing about the next relationship I desired, I wrote about wanting to dance with someone, because I love going out to dance. A few months later, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a first date with years prior, nothing ever came of it, and we ended up going out dancing that night—and music in general was a huge bond for us. But the craziest part is, he had the exact same initials as the guy I was trying to get over! So I thought, did I summon this??
Violetta: You are a walking testament that this works. It was supposed to reveal to you that what you think and feel is actually possible— and that once you let it go, it comes on its own divine timing, not yours. Now imagine how many other moments you can create with your power of spoken and written word.
At the same time, I think manifesting is different for everyone, and there’s varying degrees of success. But I do believe that often what we get looks much different than what we think we want—which was definitely the case for my career. So I think that’s an important part of manifestation, leaving room to be surprised! What are your manifestation tips?
Violetta: The simplest answer is it’s already on the way. It’s done. The laws of the universe is that you receive what you think most about and feel most strong towards. Using you as an example, you had an unwavering inner knowing of what you deserve and what your purpose was. No force could have stopped you from attracting that. The trick is accessing the subconscious state to expel limiting beliefs from your old conditioning. As Rumi says, what you seek is seeking you. There's nothing you have to do outside of yourself to gain this person—or the thing that you want. Feeling what you want is already putting it into motion. When it comes to manifesting a romantic partnership, take care of yourself the way you want to be taken care of. In other words, give to yourself before you can receive from anyone else. Romanticize yourself, love yourself the way you want to be loved. If you want to feel sexier, do something that makes you feel sexier. Get your hair done, take a bath. Give yourself roses every Friday once a month (Friday is Venus day). If you understand this, you know that a date with yourself is creating momentum so you can attract a date with a prospect. A date with yourself is creating a date with destiny.
What are some good questions to ask for anyone who’s thinking about getting a reading for the first time?
Violetta: What am I resisting? What does my dynamic in this relationship look like? What is my dynamic in this business partnership? What are my blindspots? Where do I need to receive? Where do I need to give? Where do I need to surrender? Am I giving more than I’m receiving in this partnership?
Violetta’s Most Recommended Books
Man and His Symbols
Essential reading by Carl Jung for a peek into your unconscious mind.
Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A Tarot Journey to Self Awareness
For those looking to dive deeper into tarot, this is known as the “bible of tarot books.”
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams
If you’re struggling with your life’s purpose, finances or your career this is Deepak Chopra book is a must-read.
Blue Truth: A Spiritual Guide to Life & Death and Love & Sex
Practical wisdom by David Deida that touches upon how to remain open even in the face of difficulty and understanding masculine and feminine polarities.
The Awakened Woman's Guide to Everlasting Love
For those single or attached to cultivate deeper intimacy and more fulfilling relationships.
The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships
While this book can seem a bit outdated, it’s still rooted in the breaking down and healing of destructive relationship patterns.