How Astrology Helped Me Understand Myself
As a teenage girl, one of my guiltiest pleasures was receiving the January issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. Not for the steamy sex tips but for the annual “Bedside Astrology Guide" — please tell me someone remembers these. Inside this little insert (which never left my night table) contained the rundown of what it meant to be each sign, along with the crucial information that would help me navigate the year ahead, turn my crush into my boyfriend, and be the best and most confident version of myself. Okay, so maybe all the predictions didn't come true — but it certainly affirmed my inner world as the dreamy, sensitive, and hopeless romantic Pisces I saw myself as.
If only I knew then what I know now. I didn't fully understand the power behind astrology and natal charts until I had my natal chart read for the first time in October 2015. It felt so affirming I cried. I had never felt so seen by someone I didn't even know. It felt like the astrologer could see me in a way that no one ever did, not even my own parents. And it made me realize astrology is much more than daily horoscopes or monthly forecasts that never arrive on time. But it still took a few more years before I really got serious about my affinity for astrology and signed up for my astrologer Rebecca Gordon's Introduction to Astrology course in 2019.
From there, I wasted no time devouring all the reading for the classes. Then I continued to order more and more books that honed in on specific areas of the practice, like a book on planetary transits, the Nodes, or the power of the planet Jupiter. I started tracking the moon cycle, which helped me see what kind of mood I might be in or what area of my life might come into focus during those days. I used the Time Passages app to keep track of all my family and friends' charts so I could also understand them better while teaching myself to read charts.
I still have so much more to learn, but astrology's greatest use is that it's an incredible tool for self-discovery. It's helped me better understand what motivates me, what de-motivates me, how I move in the world, and the legacy I hope to leave. I have more trust in the timing of my life. All-in-all, it's empowered me to feel more confident in who I am and what I excel at, and it's helped me accept the parts of myself that I find more challenging or insecure about.
Below, I lay out how I've come to understand myself through my Big 3 placements. Of course, our birth charts are still more complex than this– but it's a great place to start. The sun represents our ego and motivations, our ascendant (or rising sign) represents our external self and how we're perceived, and our moon represents our emotions. Most importantly, take note of what houses your sun and moon sign live in to take things a step deeper. I love using apps like Chani.App or Time Passages for more insight into a natal chart.
Then you can read my conversation with Alice Bell, one of my favorite astrologers and the author of Trust Your Timing, a book about astrological compatibility and timing of relationships. In the last month, I have already read this book about three or four times now. I can't recommend it enough for anyone wanting to learn more about compatibility, but it will also teach you a lot about reading birth charts and transits. Over the years, I've received several readings from Alice. She's fantastic at predictive astrology and predicted when I would leave my job at Bazaar—even though I didn't want to believe her!
Unpacking My Astrology Big 3
SUN: Pisces in the 11th house
Sun signs are great, but did you know the house your sun is in also tells you the area of focus for your life?
Yes, I see myself as most of the Pisces traits: creative, intuitive, empathic, a dreamer. But what helps me understand my Pisces placement even further is the house my Pisces sun is located in my natal chart. It's placed in the 11th house, which represents community and friends. Side note: I also have my Venus (planet of beauty, money, and values) and Jupiter (planet of good luck and abundance) here too. All of this helped me recognize that making friends and building networks and communities is a strength of mine. Since I was young, I always had a really easy time making friends. I had a core group of friends throughout grade school, but I also liked building friendships with different kids. And that's continued into my adult years. How I show up in these groups also can depend on who I'm around. I have friends that I go really deep with, I've had party friends, I have music friends, and even more so–I love bringing all different kinds of people together.
The 11th house is an area of strength for me—this is where I can naturally shine. So it's unsurprising that I forged a career by creating a community on social media and through this newsletter. You'll find many people who have followings, whether via social media or because they're actual celebrities, with 11th-house placements. I know that part of my purpose is to create community.
ASCENDENT: Taurus
If you don't feel like your sun sign, you'll probably identify more with your ascendant, also known as your rising sign.
As I've sharpened my astrology skills, I've realized I identify with my Taurus ascendant just as much as my Pisces sun. Your rising sign always rules your 1st house, which is the house of identity, self-esteem, and natural tendencies. Our ascendant shapes how we see the world and how the world sees us. For Taurus, which is ruled by Venus, life is viewed through the lens of beauty and pleasure. Music, dance, and style have all been a huge part of my life since my childhood. I've come to thank this placement for my unrelenting stubbornness—especially when it came to peer pressure in my adolescence. It always seemed like the more someone wanted me to do something I wasn't certain about, the more I was certain I didn't want to do it. I always liked knowing I was doing something or trying something new because it was what I wanted to do—not just to please someone else or to be seen as “cool.” I'm not afraid to stand alone. Most of all, I love this placement because it's the epitome of work hard and play hard—and I may not always have my path directly mapped out, but I know I'm going to get to where I need to be.
MOON: Capricorn in the 9th House
If you have a strong moon placement, you may also identify more with this than your sun sign as it rules our emotions.
Understanding my Capricorn moon unlocked an even deeper knowledge of myself because it represents our emotions and how we express them (or sometimes repress them). This is actually the most difficult sign placement for the moon, because Capricorn doesn't like to feel emotions. Capricorns are known to be responsible; they like to be prepared, they're business-oriented (okay maybe we're overachievers too), and notoriously non-emotional. That can sometimes feel at odds with my sensitive Pisces sun and helped to explain why sometimes I toggle between being open about my feelings and shutting down. My moon is also located in the 9th house (or 10th house if you follow Placidus). The 9th house represents higher learning, philosophy, travel, and teaching. My Capricorn moon is also in a tight conjunction with my midheaven (the highest point in my chart). This translates to putting my emotions and my beliefs into my career—and using them to teach others. That is the legacy I am building for myself. And since I first shared my story about struggling with anxiety, I came to understand the true power in being vulnerable online and the impact it could have on others.
Interrogating Alice Bell About When & Where to Find Love
Alice Bell! I'm so excited to talk with you because I received your book, Trust Your Timing, a week ago. I took it with me on vacation, and I've already read it like five times over. The way you broke down reading a birth chart, and compatibility aspects, I was like, "Wow, this is going to help so many people." Even if I was coming into it with little knowledge, I think you did a fantastic job of making it as digestible as possible. Learning astrology can be really overwhelming.
Thank you. Did it help you with learning transits?
Yeah! That's definitely what I'm working on now. I think I know my chart really well. When I look at other people's charts, I'm like, "Okay, Jupiter in the 5th house. I know what that means." So I'm really starting to get into all the planetary transits and understand them. I actually made a TikTok last night about a fight I had with my situationship during my Saturn return. It felt like a very pivotal moment, so I looked up the transits for that night to see what was going on. Saturn was at 11 degrees to my natal Saturn at 9 degrees Sagittarius. Then the transiting south node was 15 degrees Pisces, and my sun is 15 degrees Pisces.
Oh my God. So your south node sun—and that was the 11th house, 5th house nodal?
Yes. And then transiting Chiron was at 25 degrees Pisces, and my Venus is 26 degrees Pisces.
That transit's so bad. I had that too. My Venus is at 22 degrees Pisces, so around that same time, it was heartbreak after heartbreak.
And also, Mars was retrograding in Scorpio in my 7th house.
Yeah, and that retrograde started in Sagittarius, in your 8th house, and went back to Scorpio, your 7th. So it blended in psychological stuff in your transformation and relationship problems of the 8th with the whole relationship theme of the 7th. Was this 2016?
Yeah, June. It's so interesting because I really credit that incident and relationship with putting me on the spiritual path that I have been on since then because I think it was just one of those moments where I was like, "Wow, where is my self-worth? Why have I been a willing participant in this situation?" And I just started investigating my deeper emotional world and how I looked at relationships, and everything started to change for me from there.
It was that Saturn return moment to tie in the relationships, like, "This is how I'm moving forward for the next three decades of my life. I'm done with these first three decades. Time to do something different." Love that.
Coming out of my nodal return in my 1st and 7th house, it really made me wish that I had started learning more about astrology earlier, like during my Saturn Return, because maybe I could have integrated these lessons sooner. I felt very stuck in my pattern. But I know that life is, of course, it's all about timing. Literally, your book is called— Trust Your Timing!
When did you get into astrology? Was it right at that Saturn return or a bit after?
I was always into it, but probably around 2019, I started taking it more seriously. I signed up to do Rebecca Gordon's Intro to Astrology course.
The eclipses were in Cancer/Capricorn, which is in your 9th/3rd, and the 9th house activation is so much about spirituality and learning.
Coming out of my nodal return, I feel like it's helped me get very, very, very clear on what I want out of relationships. I've had two during my nodal return, short-term ones, but they taught me so much about myself, how I was showing up in a relationship, communicating my needs, and how I want someone to show up for me.
It's hard with the south node and the 7th house, it's like there's this tendency to fall back on maybe codependent patterns or the negative side of dating when really it's about your north node in Taurus, which seems scary— it's like “I need to be more independent, and know what I want, put myself first.”
Yeah, and that's been hard for me. Also, I have Pluto conjunct my south node. So it is very easy to be in those obsessive patterns, not wanting to let go. I think one of my biggest lessons in the last year is that, if I want something different out of a relationship, I have to actively go against what feels comfortable to me or what I've always done.
Do you tend to go for people who aren't available? That type of thing— it's being more comfortable with people showing affection and not being like, "Ooh, why do they like me?"
Yes, for sure, on the availability piece.
I would say there's a ton of dating for you, probably later in the fall. A final lunar eclipse in Taurus on October 28th will activate the Jupiter transit even more in your first house. And then, at the same time, there's a Scorpio stellium that's going to take place in the fall.
In my recent newsletter, I answered some reader questions, and there were so many about feeling lonely when single, or being in your twenties and worrying you'll be alone forever. And I get it. I've totally been there—but through learning more about my chart and the self-work that I've done, it's really helped me move beyond those fears.
Yeah, when you're in your 20s, you think you're going to be single for forever, and even if you are still single up until your 50s or whatever, it's not that same urgency and anxiety you have in your 20s. I don't understand why people think that way. I was the same. And so stupid, I wasted those years being obsessed with being in a relationship.
Exactly. There is such a huge emphasis on timelines. We're all supposed to go to college, meet our person, find the job we will be in for decades, get married, buy a house, and have a kid. Astrology helps you to untangle yourself from all of those expectations because we're not all here to live the same life on the same timeline.
It really shows your unique timing. I would say a question I get from older people in their 40s or 50s who are still single: "Do these timing techniques only work for young people? Have I missed my opportunity?" And I'm like, '"No, you didn't miss anything." It's sad to me.
I know. I mean, I get it. Of course, we all want love. But there are also just so many elements to life that make it great, and I'm like, I can't let not having a boyfriend derail everything else that's amazing in my life. So, I wanted to talk about chapter 10 in your book, which is called “But What If Relationships Don't Work For Me?” Because—
Yeah, I wanted to know if that stuff resonated with your Scorpio, that section.
The entire thing. There are four sections that list out aspects you can have in a birth chart that might denote why you're "Always the Single Friend," “Struggling to be in Control," “Constantly Falling for the Wrong People, or ”Needing Periodic Space" and I checked at least one box in every section. Saturn in the 7th, Pisces Venus, I also have a Venus Uranus aspect.
Venus square Uranus? Yeah, that'd definitely do it. Do you feel like one of those fits you more than the other? Do you feel like it's a blend of all of those?
I think it's a blend of all of them. Of course, there's the part of me that obviously wants to be in a committed relationship— but I'm so used to the freedom of being myself that I truly do wonder what it's going to be like when I am in a long-term partnership and if I'm going to feel suffocated by it.
Probably just needing a relationship where it's like, "Okay, I'm going away on this solo vacation. You're not coming with me." Having those “you” moments where it's not about doing every single thing as a couple would be ideal. It's a perfect contradiction because the Scorpio side of you and then the Mars conjunct Saturn in the 8th house is like, "I need loyalty. I need to know where we stand." And then the Venus Uranus is completely opposite. So it's, I guess, just having a balance. It's so hard when there are such opposites in the chart.
Something that's been so helpful for me with astrology, and I'm sure you feel the same, is that it's really helped me to own the things that I'm good at really unapologetically. I have the Sun, Venus, Jupiter in my 11th house. Community and friendships are so important to me. Connecting with people comes really easily to me. There's so many elements of ourselves that we quietly acknowledge in our heads—but having that affirmation from astrology really helps you to be like, "Okay, this is who I am, and I don't have to pretend that I'm not like that."
Yeah, that acceptance. I feel like a lot of people sometimes fixate on the negative when they start learning astrology like, "Oh, I have Saturn in the 7th house. I'm doomed." But then you grow into this place where it's like, "Oh my God, I have all these positives in my chart, and this is where my strengths are and my talents." Do you have any Aries planets?
Yes, I have my Mercury at one degree Aries.
Okay. I was going to say so much of your brand is mental health and spirituality, talking about that and reading about it, and that's such a Mercury in the 12th house.
I feel like you're a perfect example of what your chart is. Your job and what you're doing is so on point with what your chart: moon in the ninth house, but also conjunct your midheaven is teaching, and then Mercury bringing in the mental health, spirituality and then the community with all your Pisces.
The first time that I learned that having my moon conjunct my midheaven indicates putting emotions into my job and having a career in the public eye. I was like, "Wow, okay. That makes a lot of sense for me." Especially in this phase of my career right now.
Yeah, mine was very eye-opening with dating and relationships. I feel like career is an area of life that comes easily. It helped me lean more into writing and communication because I have Jupiter in the third. But with the dating, it was like, "Okay, that's why I'm so obsessive or stalkerish with people I date." And it was like, "Okay, I need to stop trying to be the chill girl and try not to care. I should actually own that I do care a lot about these dates I'm going on."
How did you get into astrology? Was it something you were always interested in, or did it just come in later in life?
It was my 25th birthday, I had this whole spiritual awakening. That sounds kind of cliche, but that's when that happened. I was not interested in any of this stuff before. I would read my horoscope sometimes, but I had no spiritual belief. I didn't believe in anything. I rebelled against the religion that was forced on me growing up. I taught myself how to read my birth chart, and that was really an eye-opening moment. It went so much beyond just being an Aquarius sun. It was like, "Okay, I have Venus in the 8th house and Pisces and my moon there and Saturn in the 7th." With those more detailed interpretations, I just felt so seen, and I was like, "Everyone needs to know that they have this whole chart."
Click here to order Trust Your Timing
Can we also talk a little bit about astrocartography?
So I look at astrocartography and also relocation charts. Astrocartography is like when you're looking at a map, you'll see planetary lines running through certain parts of the world. You can go onto Google and type in "astro.com, map," and it'll appear. And what those lines represent is how your birth chart is shifted if you were to go to a different longitude latitude in the world and how planets move to certain angles. So for instance, you're born in New York, so it's going to show a moon / mid-heaven line in this part of the world. If you were to go, let's say, to another city, it might bring that Mars/Saturn conjunction to a descendant line. So the lines are showing up when a planet is shifted in your birth chart to move to a certain angle. And feeling the energy of that planet a lot more and the angle it's associated with, so there'll be certain lines that are great for career, for relationships, or tricky for those areas—really looking at what angle is running through, like ascendant, descendant, midheaven, or IC, and what planetary energy is also associated with that line.
Now, as someone who is living in two different places, something I've been thinking a lot about… as you said, the fall is going to be a potentially good time for me and dating, but do I want to spend that time in New York or do I want to spend that time in London? Have you had any experiences where someone traveled to a particular line to find romance, and that actually worked out? I'm so curious about that.
I have not heard stories about that. This is a case of transits are going to affect you no matter where you're living. You cannot outrun a certain energy. It's not like you need to randomly travel to another city. You're naturally pulled there. You don't need to plan it out. So I would say follow your intuition. Where are you being called to? Do you feel a pull to be in New York in the fall, or are you perfectly content to stay in London? Because the relationship it's going to come up no matter where you are.
Yeah. Reflecting on my dating history, patterns, even when I was in New York, I feel like the majority of the men I've dated were always foreign. Obviously, New York City is a place where you find a lot of foreigners. But a big driver for me to also want to test out living in London was like, "Okay, if I really tend to be drawn towards foreign men, why not go closer to the source?" And in many ways, it's been nice to be here because it's a fresh dating pool, and just coming in with a new perspective.
Has it been better?
I do think that the emotional intelligence here is higher than it is in the States. I think men are more interested in being in relationships. I think they're way more likely to express interest upfront. Whereas in New York, it's like, "I'm going to play it cool because I don't really know how you feel about me, so I don't know how I feel about you." I can't deal with the games.
And the Saturn influence too. That's interesting you say you're drawn to foreign people with the core of your 7th in Sagittarius. That's being fascinated by relationships with other cultures. Do you have astrocartography lines through the UK at all?
Yes, we talked about this once, I think I have Chiron midheaven.
Okay, so in London [relocation chart], you have a Leo rising, and all the Pisces moves from the 11th to 8th house. Then it ships your Saturn, Mars, and Uranus to the 5th house. So the 5th is a lot better for dating. It moves the negative planets out of the 8th, Mars and Saturn, which are malefic, and brings the benefic planets, Venus and Jupiter, into the 8th. So maybe better for matters pertaining to intimacy, probably better for making money, like 8th house is finances, better career success there. But it's interesting, it's still such an 8th-house-heavy focus. Nothing's brought to your 7th house in Aquarius.
Of course, because I'm a Pisces Venus, learning how to do synastry, I think has always been such a huge driver in my interest in wanting to teach myself astrology because anytime I'm dating someone new, that's when I obsessively check my horoscope, chart, etc.
That's how I got good at relationship astrology was being single. When I got into a relationship, I was like, "I'm no longer that interested in synastry looking up this stuff."
Would you look at guys' charts before you went on dates with them? I never do, but I think I need to start.
Yeah, definitely. I didn't know my partner before we went on our first date, but the girl that set us up gave me his birth time. I didn't put too much weight into it. I was like, "We'll see what happens. I love Sagittarius Rising. I get along with that really well. I love a Scorpio moon.
When I was younger, that was just such a huge driver for my interest in astrology because I wanted to be able to know, "Oh, is it going to work out with this person?" But of course, astrology is never going to really be able to tell you whether—
Yeah, people have to use their own… how are you feeling about the relationship in that moment? Yes, I can tell you it's going to be stressful for this few month period, but are you going to decide to end it or are you going to work things through with someone? You still have that free will.
Yeah, and people forget that. I do think there can be this fear around astrology, I've experienced it too, especially with my nodal return because I was in the direct line of fire. Was I going to end up in a relationship? Was something bad going to happen?
Yeah, exactly. Worst-case scenario, yeah, eclipses can signify things like someone dying and all that, but most of the time, exact events aren't happening on the exact date of the eclipse, and usually, you're already feeling what's supposed to happen. You're probably already feeling that pull towards, "I want to move past these dating patterns with the South node eclipses in Scorpio." You're doing these important self-discovery things for yourself, making the big leap to move to London and do something where you're more independent. That would be the 1st house eclipses. Astrology's already reflecting what you're already feeling in that moment.
Actually, last year I left the US to come to Europe on the May 15th eclipse in Scorpio.
And that was right after the April 30th Taurus solar eclipse. That's wild. Did you have relationship things happening around that date too, or in the summer?
I arrived in London May 30, and I met a guy the first week that I was here that I ended up dating through the summer.
Okay. Yeah, so that Scorpio lunar eclipse triggered it on May 15th. Even though these transits aren't necessarily resulting in a life partner, it's still really important because you're learning from it. It doesn't have to always result in a husband.
The transits now moving to your 6th/12th houses, Libra/Aires, are you feeling that? That one really symbolizes a focus on health and then also changes with work, and then also diving more into spirituality, you're already into it, but probably even more.
I just said to a friend yesterday that I want to start looking into mentorship around astrology! I'm reading a lot, learning the transits and stuff, but I need someone that I can just be in conversation to know that I'm on the right track. I don't really know what the end goal is—but I like trying to find little ways to disperse information to people so they can start to use it on their own. Even just tracking the moon cycle. There are days when I'm like, "Oh my God, why am I feeling insecure today?” And I'll look, "Oh, the moon is in Gemini and it's conjunct my Chiron.” Or, “I feel really productive today. And I woke up wanting to check everything off my to-do list —oh, of course the moon's in Virgo."
I know, Moon in Virgo is so good. Yeah, that's the great initial way into tracking because you get a feel of how it is in every single part of your chart. Whereas Jupiter, it's going to take 12 years to understand what it's like in all those houses.
I also want to touch upon, what I think is the importance of rising over sun sign. I feel like there's been so much emphasis on sun sign astrology and looking at compatibility just based on sun sign. Maybe it really varies person to person. But even for reading a horoscopes, I don't even bother reading for my sun sign.
No, definitely not, always read for your rising. I like rising just because when someone tells me their rising, it just shows me how the rest of their chart is set up. Then I can know where the transits are activating their chart. Rising is great to look at when you're looking at predictive astrology specifically. In terms of personality, they're both still very important. But rising I feel like is easier to tap into. It's just something you express naturally, whereas sun sign, a lot of people don't resonate fully with their sun sign because you have to work to grow into that. That's your identity you're striving to become, so it doesn't come as naturally maybe.
Do you feel like that with Taurus? It's like you felt like Taurus was always you, but then it's like, "Okay, I need to put more effort into the Pisces part"?
No, I probably over-identified as a Pisces because that was really all I knew for so long. But then when I learned that I was a Taurus rising, I'm like, "Oh, that makes so much sense." Even the feedback that I get from people, people have often said, "I would never guess that you struggled with anxiety because you just always seem calm and grounded." And I'm like, that's my—
That's the Taurus, yeah. I would also say the midheaven is how people see you. That's your public persona too. So people might be seeing you as this reserved, really got it together, ambitious Capricorn midheaven.
Yes. I do think about that a lot actually— that people probably perceive me as being more serious when they see me on social media. Like you're never going to be able to display the full spectrum of who you are as a person when you're sitting at home just recording yourself on your cell phone. But I do think I come across as more reserved. And I'm fine with that because then the people who get to interact with me in real life get to see the fullness of who I am.
Exactly.
Tell me what's coming up next for you? Is the podcast coming back?
I'm launching my own podcast at the end of September that will be called Astrology with Alice, and it's going to be hopefully bi-weekly, just more bite-sized episodes, so like 15 to 20-minute episodes rather than an hour-long, and kind of just forecast what's in the week ahead, where the transits are. Then also probably bringing on other astrologers to talk, people like you would be great to have on, too just know how to talk about astrology.