6 Relationship Podcasts I Can’t Stop Listening TO
Last week, I finally made a big decision I've been putting off for a while: I'm going back to therapy! I've had a 14-month break, and honestly, it's felt really good. I tend to live in my head a lot (that's why I have endless material for this newsletter), and I can spend a lot of time ruminating, overthinking, analyzing, and sometimes that veers into me feeling like I need to “fix” myself. Taking a break from therapy helps remind me that I don't have to “fix" myself, but I do need to stay connected to self-compassion.
Over the last year, I've felt quite resistant to the thought of returning to therapy. I'm not sure if that's because I didn't like my last therapist, or if I'm just a bit burnt out on the self-work. Since I turned 30, I've been on a real journey to sort through my emotional landscape and the barriers that have played a role in my relationships or lack there of. And even though I find myself getting closer to what I want, there's a part of me that questions whether I really needed therapy anymore.
Without therapy, I don't know where I would be in my life today, though. From navigating major career changes to living with my parents as an adult and the ups and downs of dating, therapy has been instrumental in helping me understand myself and my very big emotional world. In my early twenties, I had no clue how to even begin to regulate my emotions or use the language I now have for my feelings, triggers, and relational self-awareness.
However, I do need a balance between working on myself, and just letting myself be. Sometimes, I need that reminder that it's okay not to have all the answers or analyze everything happening around me, and figure things out on my own. I can be very hard on myself, and my brain is in constant pursuit of knowledge, understanding, and problem-solving tactics.
Yet, I am who I am, and I genuinely love learning and talking about how we love and exist in relationships (blame my Pisces Venus and Saturn in my 7th House). Two weeks ago, I stumbled upon Dr. Alexandra Solomon's podcast episode about social media's favorite mantra, “If he wanted to he would," which I shared on my IG stories, and subsequently, fell down the rabbit hole of relationship advice podcasts. So, this week I thought I'd share a few of my favorite podcasts and episodes with you all. Regardless of your relationship status, there's a little something for everyone.
If you're on dating TikTok, like myself, you've probably already seen Sabrina on your FYP. She's gone viral, while triggering many, for her videos about texting while dating. She's very against constant texting, and I have to agree with her. Nothing good comes from non-stop texting leading up to a first date or even in the very beginning stages of a relationship. Sabrina says it creates a false sense of intimacy, a fast track to codependency, and when you start with so much communication in the beginning, there's really nowhere for it to go but down—and that can be triggering for those who lean anxious in romantic scenarios. Instead, Sabrina suggests we learn to sit with those uncomfortable feelings (the answer to most of life's problems) and the uncertainty that is inherent in dating. She gives the tough love that I think many of us need to hear.
Ask A Matchmaker by Maria Avgitidis
Maybe I'm biased because she's one of my friends, but I think Maria Avgitidis is one of the best relationship experts out there. Her 12-date rule (there's specific Maria Math behind that) has gotten countless people into relationships (and engaged!), her Green Theory (women should wear green in a setting where they're meeting a new person/people for the first time) is becoming an official university study, and she's set up over 5,000 first dates in her career. Her approach and dating advice is very straight forward and no nonsense. Her podcast tackles important topics like how patriarchy is hurting our relationships, how to decide to go on another date with someone, and even de-stigmatizing herpes. I especially love her hotline episodes where she answers her listener's very relatable questions.
Lovers and Friends by Shan Boodram
Thank you to Netflix's Too Hot to Handle for introducing me to Shan Boodram. She is known as the intimacy expert and workshop coordinator on the show, but she really shines on her podcast, where she invests guests to have very open and frank discussions about sex and intimacy. You may have caught an uber-viral clip of Jasmin Brown (Cam Newton's girlfriend), who talked about being submissive in romantic relationships. I thought a recent episode with her husband Jared Brady and guests Elaine Welteroth and husband Jonathon Singletary was so fascinating. Elaine, who was clearly shy to talk so publicly about sex, opened up about how difficult it was to connect to her sexuality (in part because of religious upbringing) and the pressure and expectations around having sex even while married. I really enjoy how honest and open Shan is about her own relationship with her husband from how they started off as just a hook up to how their babies have affected their sex life.
Jillian on Love by Jillian Turecki
Another TikTok find, Jillian Turecki, is a stand out for compassionate approach. She is a certified relationship coach, and her show is dedicated to those of us who are searching for love. As someone who still struggles with anxious attachment and communicating needs in a relationship, I found her episode on how to have hard conversations really impactful, as it lays out exactly how to have those oftentimes uncomfortable conversations, whether you're asking for more communication, delaying sex until commitment, or asking for more sex in a relationship. She also tackles attracting narcissistic partners, how to end a situationship, and how to regulate your nervous system while dating if you struggle with insecure attachment.
Reimaging Love by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Recently, I shared an episode of Reimagining Love on my Instagram stories where Dr. Solomon tackles social media's favorite dating mantra, “If he wanted to, he would.” She explains while that phrase (or sweeping declaration, as she calls it) can be helpful for someone who hasn't had great boundaries in the past, dating isn't always so black and white. She encourages us to be mindful of the stories we attach to behavior or the absence of certain behavior. Living by, “If he wanted to, he would,” suggests that there's something wrong with men who don't show up in a very specific way that we like (or expect), or, even worse, us. I really think everyone who is currently dating needs to listen to this episode. She also has episodes dedicated to different relationship scenarios like navigating open relationships, work stress taking a toll on relationships, or being friends with an ex.
The Terri Cole Show
Everyone's an expert these days, but when it comes to relationships, I really look to professionals for guidance. Dr. Terri Cole is a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships and female empowerment. Her podcast show is particularly great for drawing connections between our roles within our families and early life experiences, and how we show up in romantic relationships, and she serves up so many lessons with each episode. With over 500 episodes, you can find insight into being a parentified child, how a mother wound manifests and impacts your life, and how to break your people-pleasing pattern.