Brain Health, Dating Update, & My Spring Shopping List
I'm back in New York, spring has officially arrived, my allergies are kicking in, and there's just a real feeling of forward momentum in the air—especially in comparison to the beginning of 2023. But where exactly am I going? This is a question that plagues me often. Admittedly, much of my life and existence revolves around my career, so there's always this pressure to be evolving and leveling up.
It's hard not to feel stuck between what I have right now is great, I feel really fortunate vs. I need to be doing more, I need to make a bigger impact.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in limbo, waiting for that next great idea to wash over me. I believe my downtime will create the room I need for a major epiphany to come through—and I'm disappointed when it doesn't. But when I'm in that space, I try to stay connected to my purpose, what makes me do what I do. I genuinely love what I do, and I feel thankful that I've been able to create the life I live every day, even if I don't have the brainspace to forecast what I should be doing 6-months or a year from now. In many ways, I'm just living in the moment—and I try to remind myself that it's also a gift to be able to operate in the intuitive way that I do. There isn't just one way to work.
Today's newsletter is a bit different—I didn't know what direction to take things in because I'm saving some introspective thoughts for Mental Health Awareness Month in May, so here's a brain dump of what's been on my mind lately!
1. I went out in NYC Friday night, and it's quite rare that I actually go into the city for a weekend out these days—but I just had that itch! So, I was in a really good mood, excited for the night ahead— and I had no idea what was coming my way. My friends and I stopped at Kind Regards for their 6th-anniversary party because my friend Issac Hindin-Miller was DJing. It was close to 1AM, and the basement was filled with drunk twenty-somethings (as to be suspected for a Lower East Side bar). We had been there for maybe 10 minutes, and while waiting to get drinks at the bar, a girl I didn't know grabbed my arm to get my attention. She alerted me to the fact that someone had just vomited on me. Literally vomit in my hair, down the back of my jacket—I had no idea.
Now, I think for most people, this is a fucking nightmare scenario—but crank that up x 100 because I have emetophobia (an intense fear of vomit). In the past, I've spiraled into a panic if someone so much as says that they feel nauseous around me or if I, myself, feel nauseous. Maybe this is just another sign of my personal growth, but I didn't panic that night. Yes, I was upset and grossed out by what happened (and days later I'm still having flashbacks) but I didn't have a breakdown like I would've expected. I think in big part because I couldn't actually see the vomit on me—nor did I see it happen. But most of all, I felt immensely thankful for my compassionate friends who sprang into action to help me through it—including washing my hair in the bathroom sink at Ludlow House. That's love!
2. Last week, psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen was on Steven Bartlett's Diary of a CEO podcast and I've listened to it about three times now. I was really captivated by his passion for what he does, and I wanted to soak in all his expertise and knowledge. Dr. Amen talks about how psychiatry is the only medical specialty that never looks at the organ it treats, “Obviously the brain is the organ of depression, the brain is the organ of bipolar disorder, the brain is the organ of anxiety. Why aren't we looking at it?” He says mental health needs to be reimagined as “brain health” because we're living in a world where prescriptions are written for mental health issues without diving into the root cause. Yet we have an industry built on money for medicine for mental health conditions. Dr. Amen also shares a comprehensive list of things he says are harming our brain health, like too much caffeine, not flossing, not eating fish, and not learning new things. Also check out Dr. Amen's Tik Tok.
3. I've been on a mission to create a better breakfast routine. Breakfast is so important to me, it's my favorite meal of the day, and it's also crucial for setting me up to have a good day. After my stint at Lanserhof in March (more on that to come next month!), I've decided once again my breakfast routine needs an overhaul to make sure I don't spike my blood sugar first thing. I first switched things up in January 2021, cutting out eggs because I suspected they were causing gastric distress—I was right. Now, I've learned that the cereals I've been eating are too sugary. I fell in love with Deliciously Ella granola in London, but naturally, they're not available to ship to the US. The two boxes I brought home barely lasted me a week. So, I'm testing some from Whole Foods like Purely Elizabeth, which seems comparable to Deliciously Ella, and the brand Farmer's We Know. Got any suggestions? Let me know!
4. Eclipse season is upon us yet again! The first solar eclipse of the season is set for April 19th, and it will be in the sign of Libra. The nodal axis will soon be shifting from Taurus/Scorpio to Aries/Libra, so this is the first one in that set. Eclipses usually denote a period of change or growth. Fate steps in the way to make sure we're aligned with our intended path. Then we'll have a Taurus lunar eclipse on May 5. I asked my astrologer friend Steph Whaley, founder of Oromoon, to share some insight into the upcoming eclipse, and here's what she had to say:
With the Nodal shift to Aries and Libra, we are being ushered into a new phase of growth and transformation. The North Node in Aries signifies a collective focus on assertiveness, independence, and self-discovery, while the South Node in Libra urges us to examine our relationships, balance, and the art of diplomacy. This Nodal shift prompts us to strike a balance between our personal needs and the needs of those around us, as we strive for harmony in our interactions with others.
As for the first eclipse, it carries a potent energy that could set the tone for the months ahead. The vibe of this eclipse is one of renewal and initiation. The powerful Aries energy encourages us to embrace our individuality and take the lead in our own lives, while the Libra influence invites us to cultivate our relationships and foster connections.
This cosmic event presents an opportunity for us to reassess our goals, values, and priorities, as we seek to establish equilibrium between our personal aspirations and the demands of our relationships. The eclipse may also bring to light any hidden imbalances, urging us to address them and create a more harmonious existence.
As we navigate this transformative period, it's essential for us to remain open to change and be willing to adapt. The energy of the first eclipse offers us the chance to reassess our lives, embrace growth, and align ourselves with our highest potential.
5. I need to dance more. I got to itch that scratch a little bit on Friday, but I really miss how much I used to dance on the weekends. I was a bonafide club rat in my twenties. I wasn't there to get drunk or high—I was there to dance. Dancing was (and still is) my drug. It's so liberating and my favorite way to feel truly connected to my body. I hear a lot of New York friends say that it's basically impossible to find a place to dance that isn't a bar filled with drunk Gen-Zers (no offense, Gen-Z, but you'll understand someday) and isn't a Brooklyn warehouse rave. It feels impossible to find a place suitable for us elder millennials who just want to shake our asses to some rap music. My need to dance doesn't necessarily need to be relegated to a bar or club, though. I used to love taking dance classes as well. I recently saw my friend Hannah Bronfman share a video of herself at a dance class—something I haven't done since my pre-pandemic life. I also love watching my friend Isaac share his weekly salsa/bachata lessons he's been taking. Yes, I can dance in my room, and I do, but it's certainly not the same—so I'd love to fix that.
6. Everyone's talking about the term “quiet luxury.” Is it just me, or is this repackaged normcore? A trend that felt equally disinteresting. We have to recognize trends and buzzwords for what they are though—just a trend. In some ways, this concept of quiet luxury or “stealth wealth” feels a little steeped in white supremacy—this idea that we should all be striving to dress like rich white people (or Gwyneth Paltrow on trial for a skiing accident) who aren't keen to display their wealth in an ostentatious way. Sure, there are people like that, but not all wealthy people dress that way. A lot of people don't have good taste, regardless of their tax bracket. I'm not necessarily a logo girl myself, but I do support everyone dressing how they want and not letting these buzzwords shape how we feel about our personal style. I think the real meaning of luxury is about the freedom to choose whatever your heart desires.
7. I've been listening to Simon Sinek's book Start With Why (as recommended by Nate Brown on TikTok), and I have to say it should be a must-read for all creatives or marketers. It breaks down why some brands and people are more influential than others. He uses examples of Martin Luther King Jr., Steve Jobs at Apple, and the Wright Brothers, who built the first airplane. It comes down to purpose. Your purpose, your reason for doing what you do, is what inspires others to connect with your brand or your message. It's what helps you stand out over others.
8. Dating hasn't really been a priority for me the last few months, but as always, the pendulum swings, and now I'm getting back in the mood. An important manifestation for me this year is meeting more prospective dates IRL. Yes, I'm still on the apps, and I've been on the apps for ages, but honestly, the majority of people I've dated over the years, I met in real life. It just gets harder when you're not out and about, and I'm not nearly as social (outside of work events) as I used to be—so I will remain on the apps. But, one practice for my IRL meet-cutes is just smiling at attractive strangers I see on the street. Let me tell you, even when nothing comes of it, when you get that smile back, it's electrifying. It puts a little pep in your step, and I think in general we should all be smiling at strangers more. I know it seems hard because our first inclination is usually to divert our eyes— but I challenge you to keep eye contact and smile. You have nothing to lose! During my last week in London, a guy stopped me on the street and asked for my number. Then last week in NYC, I had a waitress deliver my number written on a matchbox to a cute guy I saw having lunch at the bar alone—and he texted me! As they say, fortune favors the bold! So I am putting in the work to create the outcome I want.
9. Finally, with a new season also comes the desire for new clothes. I'm not entirely sure what my vibe is for this new season, I'm still feeling things out. A big goal of mine though is to really weed out my wardrobe, and actually get the stuff I don't want out of my house, that's like a whole other step that never seems to happen. My no-longer loved clothes just linger around for way longer than necessary. But here I am already building out my virtual wishlist which you can browse here and I will continue to add to it.
A few things on my moodboard: Ferragamo Fall 2023, Hailey Bieber, ASAP Rocky in Loewe, Reformation, Peggy Gou, Saint Laurent shoes
Some starting points: Saint Laurents shoes (even though the heels are too fucking high), I'm on a never ending quest to find cute spring jackets that aren't a blazer or denim jacket. Actually, the same goes for printed pants, a la Asap Rocky in Loewe in Paris, I don't know that there will ever be a better pair—but I just feel like I need some for my upcoming Caribbean getaway. And never thought I'd say this but I'm really loving the denim maxi skirt look, and think I need to add more to my repertoire.
10. Summer travels are on my mind! I'm not really a planner, and luckily my job ends up shaping what my travel schedule will look like the majority of the time. Aside from being in London last year, it felt like my summer 2022 travels were really focused on Spain (namely Ibiza) which I loved— and I was trying to make it a repeat. It seems as though the universe is steering me in a different direction, so it's looking like an Italian summer for 2023!
If you also identify as a non-planner, and are looking for a curated experience, I wanted to share some fast approaching retreats from people I love and admire in the spiritual and wellness space.
April 19-26 Dani Beinstein is hosting an amazing Eclipse retreat in Costa Rica, more info here
May 19-22 Black Girl Magik will host a healing retreat under the Taurus new moon in Mexico, more info here.